


I am me (and that is enough)

by Glitteringworlds



Category: Dragalia Lost (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, trans mom Cleo loves and supports everyone at the Halidom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 00:50:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Glitteringworlds/pseuds/Glitteringworlds
Summary: Cleo and Odetta talk about gender, and plants.





	I am me (and that is enough)

Odetta never thought she'd face a day when her well earned sense of timeliness would turn against her. It had taken more than a few missed rides and lost chances to truly instill the importance of such things in her, but by the time she arrived at the Halidom - both times - she was well able to settle into any rhythm that was required of her. An important skill for any traveler.

In her new stationary life, however, it meant a dreadful awareness of just how quickly she had grown accustomed to certain things here, and to certain people. Which is how she found herself hovering outside of the kitchen early one morning, fiddling with the hem of her skirt and trying to do anything but count how many minutes late Cleo was. To make matters worse, she couldn't even truly claim that Cleo was late, if she was being honest with herself, which she always sought to be. Cleo was no more late than a deer could be late to graze in a meadow. It was Odetta who was the intruder here, Odetta who did not belong, Odetta who had grown accustomed to a thing that had never been hers to claim.

She smoothed out her dress, determined to leave the dark hallway she had been waiting in and never speak a word of her time there to anyone, just as the door at the end of the hallway creaked open and Cleo came toddling through it, carefully balancing bags overflowing with vegetables and an assortment of herbs and other leafy things that Odetta couldn't even begin to name. Seeing Odetta, she smiled brightly, her eyes soft and welcoming. "Oh, Odetta, good. I'm sorry I kept you waiting, I was worried you might have left already."

"Why, of course not. Not that I was waiting, I just know you sometimes burden yourself too much with things and I wanted to be here to, well. To help, of course." Realizing she still hadn't moved, Odetta cleared her throat and quickly went about helping, taking one of the bags from Cleo and holding the kitchen door open for both of them.

Even empty as it was, the Halidom kitchen did not seem cold or abandoned, but rather, it was to Odetta as a great beast at rest. The few fires left burning throughout the night cast the room in dim light and warm shadows, a perpetual twilight that welcomed any midnight snackers or sleepless wanderers, two categories that Odetta found herself fitting into often. There was often something or another brewing or marinating or roasting, and this morning the room was filled with the smell of some kind of spicy, rich stew that Cleo had left to cook overnight.

As Cleo set down her things and began bustling around the room however, lighting lamps and refreshing fires, sorting through ingredients and dipping a spoon into the overnight stew to test it's taste, it took on an entirely different sort of life. Not a hibernating beast, but a beating heart, lively and wonderful and connected to every part of the castle around it. Cleo didn't technically feed everyone in the Halidom, but sometimes it seemed as though she did, as prepared as she always was, and as attentive. Odetta pulled out a stool and contentedly watched Cleo work, offhandedly grabbing a cookie from a plate that had been left on the counter. Chocolate chip and cranberry - one of her favorites. A little sharp, a little bitter, a little sweet, and soft enough to melt in her mouth.

"Do you like them?" Cleo didn't turn around when she spoke, kneeling down to fish through one of the cupboards for some spice or another. "You seem like someone with an appreciation for classic and sweet, but I thought plain chocolate chip would be too simple."

Odetta's hand stopped halfway through reaching for another cookie. "These are for me?"

"They are for anyone who wishes to have them, but I did have you in mind, yes. I wanted to thank you for all the help you've given me around here the past few weeks."

"Oh, well, you didn't have to go to any trouble. I like to be helpful, that's all."

Straightening, Cleo sprinkled a handful of the whatever-it-was into the pot, glancing over her shoulder. "And I like to bake, so it works out nicely, does it not?"

Sheepishly, Odetta grabbed another cookie and took a bite. "I suppose so." She wasn't sure how she felt about other people doing things for her like that, but the cookies were too good to waste on a bit of misplaced pride.

After finishing her work with the stew, Cleo turned to the assortment of herbs on the table, pushing back her sleeves and setting to sorting and cleaning them. She worked in silence for a while, and Odetta took the time to put a pot of water on the smaller fire in the corner. It had only taken a few days to discover that she and Cleo shared a love for tea, and Odetta enjoyed preparing some for both of them whenever she was in the kitchen. Cleo seemed to have an endless variety of options to pick from, and Odetta considered it her personal mission to try all of them at least once. It was a wonderfully unexpected discovery, a small selection of new worlds to explore.

"I apologize again for being late today." Cleo said, while Odetta leaned against the wall, waiting for the water to boil. "Some of the herbs I was harvesting take extra care, and I didn't want to risk damaging them." She sorted through the plants with patient precision as she spoke, occasionally pausing to check a leaf or stem or flower.

"What are they all for?"

"A great many things. Truly, it takes quite a bit of work to keep track of it all, but I've never been one to turn down a challenge to my gardening skills." Pausing her work, Cleo looked thoughtfully at the piles in front of her. "There are some for pain, of course, both chronic and specific, and some that can help one focus, or calm the nerves." Cleo split a stem open with her fingernail, carefully peeling away the outer layers before setting it aside and picking up the next one. She remained completely focused on her work as she spoke, only briefly glancing up at Odetta. "I also have some to help people with various aspects of gender presentation and transition. I use these ones with the purple flowers myself."

It took a moment for Odetta to understand what Cleo meant, and she felt her chest tighten as she watched Cleo's hands still steadily working away at their task. There was no tremble there, no hesitation. Cleo's eyes were hidden by the fringe of pink hair that hung down in front of her face, though, and Odetta wondered if that wasn't for both their sakes.

"Oh."

"They are quite difficult to grow, very responsive to the slightest change in temperature. Luckily the Greatwyrm of Wind himself resides here, and his mana has proved useful to maintaining the more temperamental of plants in the gardens."

"Are there... many people here, who use the plants you grow?"

"Yes, though there are also many here who have their own habits and ways of doing things, which I am happy to respect."

"And the... the ones that affect your body? How you look?"

"Yes. Quite a few people here use them in some fashion or another."

It was not as if it was an entirely foreign concept to Odetta, the idea of wanting - or needing - to change one's gender presentation. She'd spent some time once with a troupe of actors who had delighted in trying on all kinds of presentations when they performed, and after learning how to do so safely, Odetta had even tried binding her own chest a few times when entering a new town, sometimes using a different name or dressing in loose fitting clothes. Just to see how people would react to her, of course. It had just been another new world, another identity to try on, had it not? 

Cleo still did not look up from her work. She started to divide some of the piles into smaller portions, pausing only to grab a basket filled with pouches of varying sizes from a nearby cupboard drawer. She filled them methodically, labeling each one before setting it aside. A few of the purple flowers, several with a mix of leaves, and then another with the stems the Cleo had peeled so carefully earlier. Odetta watched her work in silence, unsure if she was trying to mull over what Cleo had said, or trying to ignore it.

It wasn't just what Cleo had said, either, it was that Cleo had said it to Odetta at all. That she had said it here, and now, and hadn't demanded anything from Odetta in response. That Cleo had been content for the both of them to sit in silence.

Odetta wondered how many people had sat in this kitchen before her, quietly cursing Cleo for understanding their quirks and scars and hangups too damn well. For being too patient. Odetta had a feeling she wasn't the first.

The sound of the kettle finally broke the silence, and Odetta sprung into action, doing her best to cover her surprised squeak by quickly working to prepare tea for the both of them. Catching her hand trembling slightly as she reached for the kettle, she paused, frowning. That wouldn't do at all. Things at the Halidom weren't always easy for her, and there was a lot still to figure out, about herself and about everyone else as well. But Odetta was no coward. That much she was sure of. Steadying her hand, she poured the water slowly and steadily into each cup, then set the kettle gently back down on a cool section of the stovetop. Once the tea was steeping, she brought both cups to the table, shooting Cleo a quick grin as she set them down.

"You know, sometimes I wonder if our enemies fear you even half as much as they should."

That cause Cleo a moment's pause. She looked up from her work, taking the chance to set down the plant she had been holding and reaching for the cup of tea that Odetta slid towards her. "Whatever do you mean by that?"

"Because," Odetta replied, "Euden may bring us together, but you make this place feel like a home."

"I thought you weren't in search of a home."

Sitting down, Odetta rested a cheek against her hand, watching one of the fires as it popped and breathed. "Well, whatever it is I'm looking for, I can't deny that people... people fight better when they are fighting for a home. For people they care about. New Alberia wouldn't exist if this was just a castle and some land."

"That may be the case," Cleo said, sighing. "But I can hardly take all the credit myself."

"You should take some of it though."

Odetta looked over and caught Cleo's sidelong glance, meeting her eye for just a moment before looking back down at the table, watching Cleo's hands as she fished the teabag out of her cup and carefully disposed of it. Sighing again, Cleo finished packing the pouch she had been working on, carefully knotting it up before sliding it towards Odetta. "Would you mind taking this to Luca today?"

"Why?"

"Because I am very busy." Cleo smiled to herself. "And because he has used these for a while, and if you wanted to know anything more about them, he'd be a good person to ask."

Odetta paused halfway in reaching towards the pouch, her stomach knotting. "I'm not a boy, you know." She felt guilty even as she said it. Cleo was trying to be kind to her, trying to help, and now Odetta was brushing her off. She stared down at her hand, frozen above the table, and willed it not to start shaking again. If she tried something on here, everyone would know. They would know if she took it back off again. They would know if it didn't fit. 

"Odetta." Another hand came into view, nails trimmed neatly and fingertips stained slightly green. It laid itself gently over Odetta's hand, cool and steady. She looked up at Cleo, who had leaned forward over the table, and then at the pouch which was now hidden under Cleo's other hand. "I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to say that you should be one thing or another. You should be you. And you can be you in whatever way you want. What's in here is just an option." Pulling back, Cleo lifted her hand off Odetta's, then off the pouch. "I'm sorry if I presumed."

Odetta remembered to breathe, then reached again for the pouch. "If I take this to Luca, he won't-"

"He won't do a thing but answer questions, if you have them. And if he does more than that, you can send him to me."

Cleo's face was serious, with just the hint of a smirk. The Empire really didn't know what it was facing with her, did it? "Okay."

Tucking the pouch into the bag at her hip, Odetta decided to ignore the mess of thoughts in her head, for now. That was one good thing about having a home, at least. She had time to find her answers. 

Besides, her tea was desperately over-steeped. She ought to fix that, and then ask Cleo about the new strange pair of investigators that had been lurking near the Halidom's also very new library. The one that had sprung up overnight. Now, there was a story Odetta was dying to hear.


End file.
